Feb 22, 2011

Who Else Hates Eric the Midget?

Eric the Midget’s problems are self-inflicted, whether he wants to admit it or not. I’m not talking about his dwarfism, Ehler-Danos syndrome, club foot and Nevus flammeus nuchae. He was born with those afflictions and that’s certainly not his fault.

I’m not going to waste your time with a bunch of background info on Eric the Midget. I’ll assume you listen to the Howard Stern Show and know who he is. If you want his bio, go read his WikiPedia page. This is just my take on the ongoing Eric the Midget saga, for what it’s worth.

I’m talking about his constant complaints about his treatment at the hands of Howard Stern as a member of the “Wack Pack”.

One thing about Eric the Midget: either you simply hate him or you love to hate him. He was once booed by an audience at an Artie Lange stand-up performance in San Francisco for ten minutes straight. San Francisco is not Philadelphia, it takes a lot to get booed there.

He is also obviously somewhat delusional and has a ton of time on his hands. Why else would he stay on hold for hours at a time for a chance to speak on the show if he hates it so much? He’s completely oblivious to the fact that he owes whatever fame and success he’s had to Howard Stern.

Where would he be without all Howard’s done for him? Would he have been given a guest appearance on the TV show Fringe? Would he have gotten the offer from penny auction site Beezid.com to wear their Bee Suit and be the show’s Red Carpet Reporter? Would Jimmy Kimmel have taken interest in Eric and pushed people to buy him stuff from Eric’s Amazon list?

Remember the “Hottest Stripper Alive” contest? The winner would get a contract with EMA, Eric’s new modelling agency and a term of their seven year contract was that they had to live with him. Not surprisingly, as of today, there has been no winner or even entries, for that matter. The contest launched almost three years ago, in March 2008.

One of my favorite ETM moments happened in November when after refusing to participate in the IQ contest and being his annoying self for a while agreed to be a part of the contest and scored a 90. The latest “Eric the Actor” fiasco and his death hoaxes are just making things worse.

It doesn’t help that he seems to have zero sense of humour and takes it seriously when posters on the Stern Fan Network website do the “RIP Eric The Actor” thing.

Worst of all, he refuses to help himself. His quality of life would definitely be better if he had just let up and agreed to wear that Bee suit and done the Beezid.com promotion deal that the Penny Auction site offered to him. That also would have been downright hilarious and who knows what events he might be hosting now or what type of exposure he might have gotten from it? Maybe he could have lined up other sponsors, like maybe MoMo mags could have made him special wheels for his motorized wheelchair!

His empty threats to stop calling into the Stern show have gotten old as well. He always eventually calls back and makes an ass out of himself time after time. Doesn’t he realize Howard has a “Wack Pack” and not just one wack job?

It’s time to stop the tired act and move on to something new. Maybe get a job as an extra in the next Austin Powers movie or just fade away and work on his memoirs. I wouldn’t buy them but I know there are people out there that would. Either way, he’ll need Howard to promote the book and maybe even write the foreword!

Todd Janowski is a guest blogger who has been actively involved in doing product reviews and guest posts. He loves travelling, good food, movies and spending time with his family.

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